Letters to Santa
by apple2011
Summary: Merlin, Arthur, Gwen, Morgana, Gaius, Agravaine and Gwaine all right letters to santa, what do they want and will they get it?
1. Chapter 1

Letters to Santa: Merlin

Dear Santa

For Christmas this year I would like a new prince to look for me to look after, I mean look he yells, snores, throws things at me, eats nonstop, exiles people, doesn't notice when people turn against him, suspects people who aren't betraying him while his obviously evil relatives smirk in the distance. Also he goes on dangerous quests when it's my job to make sure he stays alive, all his family are psychopaths and his love interests seem either to be

Enchanted

Evil

Some weird kind of fairy

He is also, arrogant, annoying, a prat but this isn't about Arthur, so for Christmas can you kidnap Arthur and replace him with a nicer prince (preferably one without a evil half-sister). Okay Merry Christmas

P.S: Can you hit Morgana with your sleigh?

Merlin


	2. Chapter 2

Letters to Santa: Morgana

Dear Santa

For Christmas this year I want a sleigh pulled by (Skeleton) reindeer so I can get to all the dangerous places I seem to go to get more creatures and objects for magical torture. Snakes, Spiders, venom; all these things I have to get from the mountains. With a sleigh I can fly over there get a magical object and be home in time to inflict pain on the knights of Camelot. I've been nice for the last ten minutes or so and I need a reward.

Love

Morgana

P.S: Can you get Aggravaine to stop staring and standing over me when I sleep (ITS REALLY CREEPY)


	3. Chapter 3

Letters to Santa: Arthur

Dear Santa

For Christmas this year I would like a few hundred crowns of Camelot to give to all my enemies who want it. Now they can have their own crown and not have to use: wars, fires, explosions, enchantment, assassins, dragons, mercenaries, trolls, fairies, pixies, ghosts, zombies, immortal soldiers, sorcerers, questing beasts, griffins, plagues, poison, serpents, bugs, druids, labyrinths, witch finders, giant cat things, unbeatable knights, Goblins, Lamia's, warlords. Look you probably get the idea, so I give my enemies a crown, they leave me alone.

From

Arthur Pendragon (Well Merlin being made to write this, you must wonder where he gets his sense of logic)

P.S: Can you tell the fanfic writers me and Merlin are NOT together.


	4. Chapter 4

Letters to Santa: Gwaine

Dear Santa

For Christmas this year I would like a tankard of Ale

Gwaine

p.s: Or two if your elves can manage

p.s.s: No three actually

p.s.s.s: On second thoughts four

p.s.s.s.s: Five

p.s.s.s.s.s: Seven

p.s.s.s.s.s.s: Fifteen

Actually you know what just give me a tavern


	5. Chapter 5

Letters To Santa: Gwen

Dear Santa

For Christmas this year I would like one week without being enchanted, kidnapped, exiled, attacked, blown up, accused of sorcery, followed, knocked out (a lot in Arthur's case), having to knock someone else out (_cough Merlin cough), _turned into a deer, hunted down by a princess. Well you know the usual ever since Merlin turned up. And I want to spend that week with Arthur so what I'm really asking is you knock everybody else out for a week.

Gwen

P.S: Gwaine says two more (no idea what it means)

P.S.S: Can you hit Merlin with your sleigh (make him stay down during the week)


	6. Chapter 6

Letters to Santa: Gaius 

For Christmas this year I would like more excuses when Merlin's gone, I mean he was gone for two days and I could still only think of the Tavern. If Arthur listened to Gwaine for more than six seconds then he would know Merlin hasn't ever been to the tavern. So a list of more excuses please.

Gaius

P.S: Could your reindeer run over Gwaine (he keeps coming over with a hangover)


	7. Chapter 7

Letters to Santa: Agravaine 

Dear Santa

For Christmas this Year I would like a more revealing dress for Morgana, It's not because I'm creepy _**Yes it is though **_now its because she only wears one dress and she needs to change _**also your creepy **_So for Christmas this year I want to get Morgana a gift, that's nice isn't it? _**It would be if you weren't creepy **_So please! _**Creepy**_

Agravaine

_Edited by Gwen _

_P.S: __**Do I really need to say it again? **_

Starting Christmas eve we'll see what the characters get for Christmas 

Merry Christmas 

Apple 


	8. Chapter 8

Christmas Day: Merlin

It was morning, Merlin yawned before setting off to wake up Arthur. He got to the door, opened it and screamed. Arthur was in bed with no arms or legs. Merlin got over the shock and started to laugh.

"It's not funny Merlin! Stop that" Arthur shouted

"Or what, you going to use me as target practise, throw your cup at me!" Merlin told him laughing

"You can go" Arthur growled. Merlin walked out the door and saw a note on the wall

_Dear Merlin _

_Couldn't get you a new one so I improved your one _

_Merry Christmas_

_Santa_

_P.S: Look to your right _

Merlin turned to his right and saw Gwen staring out the window.

"Merlin's why's Morgana unconscious in a field?"


	9. Chapter 9

Christmas Day: Morgana 

Morgana walked over to the hovel, for some reason she had woken up in a field feeling as if someone had hit her with a metal block pulled by reindeer. Yawning she looked around and gasped. In front of her was a sleigh, with skeleton reindeer. She smiled and jumped in the sleigh, she held the reins and flew into the sky. She flew over Camelot and over to the mountains, what could go wrong…

_Meanwhile in the north Pole _

Santa sat in his armchair, Christmas was over along with all his work… except. He sat up, he picked up a piece of coal and stood at the window. He loaded it into a cannon and aimed it….

_Near Camelot_

Morgana cackled as she terrified the local village. The reindeer moved up and down. Then she looked to the left and saw a piece of coal flying towards her. She sighed as it smashed into her side and she fell off the sleigh and into a well…

_North Pole_

Santa looked through a telescope, he watched her fall into a well and the sleigh fly off."Bullseye"


	10. Chapter 10

Christmas Day: Arthur

Arthur growled when his arms and legs finally grew back, he had spent all of Christmas morning without any limbs. He couldn't even throw things at Merlin. Where was his presents, maybe Santa was late. He then looked around and saw a cupboard. He didn't have a cupboard built in the wall. Confused Arthur opened it. Then thousands of crowns poured out on him! Hundreds of the golden objects coated him head to toe.

"Hey you got the crowns?" Merlin announced walking in

"Merlin, get these off of me, then you can give the horses a Christmas muck out" Arthur growled.

"Nah, your okay!" Merlin told him grabbing a crown "right I'm going to the tavern, this crown will buy the drinks, Merry Christmas". Merlin left the room.

"MERLIN!"


	11. Chapter 11

Christmas Day: Gwaine 

Gwaine opened his eyes. He just had a wonderful dream about swimming in ale, he felt something wet. He gulped and sat up, then smiled. His whole room was flooded with Ale. His bed was floating along with all his stuff. He smiled and jumped in, then someone knocked at the door.

"Gwaine do you have any idea why half the castle has been flooded with Ale?" Sir Leon asked

"Umm, No" Gwaine replied looking around. Then he saw it. A tankard of Ale the size of the tower had been glued to his window.

"So it doesn't have anything to do with the giant ale tankard attached to your window?" came Elyan's voice

"NO" Gwaine told them.

"Another thing why is the tavern missing?" Sir Leon demanded. Gwaine looked out his other window, outside was a building with a sign that had GWAINE'S TAVERN in big bold letters.

"Merry Christmas" Gwaine shouted opening the door and swimming away.


	12. Chapter 12

Christmas Day: Gaius 

Gaius woke up, there was no list or letter anywhere. He sighed, Merlin had gone off to wish Kilgharrah and Aithuisa Merry Christmas (and to tell them to stop chasing Santa's sleigh at night) and Arthur was going to come in and demand and explanation. Sure enough Arthur kicked the door open, he was covered in gold specs and it looked as if he had been crushed under a thousand tons of Jewellery.

"Where is he?" Arthur demanded. Gaius thought for a moment but before he could reply they heard a voice.

"Oh the humanity" Gwaine shouted. They both looked out the window and saw Gwaine kneeling beside his tavern. A giant Christmas pudding and crushed it, Gwaine was sobbing. Arthur opened the window.

"What about the ale flood on the other side of the castle?" he shouted. Gwaine stood up, then he picked up a glass and ran towards the castle.

"So where is Merlin?" Arthur repeated

"The brothel?" Gaius said meekly.


	13. Chapter 13

XMAS DAY: Gwen 

Yawning Gwen got out of bed and stretched. She walked into the front room and gasped. A small present was in the middle of the room, she unwrapped it and smiled. A box with _Gwen's Little Helper _and inside was a stun gun. She smiled as the door was pushed open and Merlin walked in. Then he collapsed with a few hundred volts of electricity going through him.

"Oops, sorry Merlin" Gwen said quietly before sneaking out the door.

Five Minutes later 

Arthur was still looking for Merlin, but the last thing he expected to see when he left the castle was every single person unconscious.

"What happened?" he asked aloud. Then he saw Gwen walking towards him

"Apparently the trigger can jam, so every one's unconscious" she replied casually. Arthur looked at her and then at every person she had knocked out

"Gwen you have just knocked out every person in Camelot, I would say that's a first but Morgana beat you to it, "Arthur told her. Gwen looked at him"But she never got you or Merlin" she realised smiling at him. Arthur's face melted into worry. Then he started running.

Six hours and five thousand volts later he would regret that conversation


	14. Chapter 14

Christmas Day: Agravaine 

Morgana was having a terrible day, she had woken up in a field, fallen into a well, hit by flying coal, lost the best gift she ever had and as she opened the door to her hovel the last thing she wanted was Agravaine standing in her home wearing a dress.

"What the Fu*k?" she said open mouthed. Agravaine looked at her

"Well my lady I woke up in this dress and it won't come off. It was a good thing everyone was unconscious this morning and after that Gwaine had a funeral for his tavern" Agravaine replied embarrassed.

"and you came to me! Why?" Morgana demanded

"Well thought you could use your magic to get it off me" Agravaine suggested "So while Gwaine was having a funeral with Arthur was being chased by Gwen not far away and while Merlin was in the brothel, you snuck past the guards and came here in a dress… and why do I have the dark feeling I'm not the first woman to say this to you?" Morgana questioned

"Yes well I need this dress off" Agravaine repeated

"Depends are you dressed underneath that dress?" Morgana asked

"No" Agravaine told her

"Not now or ever are you standing in my home naked, get out!" Morgana hissed

"but, but" Agravaine began as Morgana smacked him over the head with a bat.

"Oh great another unconscious man in my hovel, really starting to wish I kept Merlin now" Morgana muttered.


	15. Chapter 15

Christmas Eve: Aithusa 

Aithusa was bored, she had been chasing her tail for the past few hours and Kilgharrah had told her it wasn't another dragon but her own tail and she should go to sleep. Then she heard the ringing of bells. She perked up and looked out the cave window. What was it, then she saw five reindeer pulling a sleigh, a man was sitting in the sleigh.

"_Kilgharrah, Kilgharrah, there's a demon flying on a sleigh towards Camelot"_

The great dragon groaned

"_Aithusa it's not a demon it's just Santa... wait Santa that guy didn't release me even after all those letter I telepathically made people write, okay Aithusa its time to learn how to keep a petty grudge"_

The great dragon roared and with Aithusa following they set off.

Santa looked around, he had done most of the world and only had a few people left to visit, then he looked behind him.

"Rudolph go faster!" he shouted suddenly as he spotted the two dragons, a jet of fire narrowly missed his head. The dragon growled as they entered Camelot and turned back. Aithusa however didn't and she kept flying. She landed on the sleigh and saw Santa. He looked at her and she breathed smoke. The jet of smoke covered Santa and he fell off the sleigh. Oops! Aithusa thought, then she saw the reins. Looks like it's up to me to save Christmas, she put the reins in her mouth and egged the reindeer on...


	16. Chapter 16

Christmas Eve: Merlin+ Aithusa

_ITAILICS= Aithusa's thoughts_

_So daddy Merlin wants a new prince, there's none in the sack so there is only one way to stop the prince doing most of this stuff_ Aithusa thought as she snuck into Arthur's room. She crept on his bed and stood on his chest. She then opened her mouth and bit into his shoulder. Arthur sat up and yelled in pain. _Oh yeah I forgot about the searing pain _Aithusa watched as he scrambled out of bed. _No he can't leave_ Aithusa mentally yelled as she lifted up the table with magic and knocked Arthur out with it. He collapsed instantly and Aithusa jumped back on him and started eating his limbs again. After he was back in bed with no limbs she enchanted him and went back to the sleigh. She got back in and began to fly over to Morgana's to give her the presents she asked for. _Hey look a button _Aithusa noticed and pressed it, then the sleigh went into a nosedive and she heard a thud from below. The sleigh stopped and Aithusa noticed Morgana unconscious on the floor. _Eeek sorry, um tell you what if your ever dying in a forest somewhere ill come help okay, yeah then we'll be even. Yeah um bye_. Aithusa jumped in the sleigh and quickly flew away.


	17. Chapter 17

Christmas Day: Aithusa (Morgana) 

_So Skeleton reindeer, where do I find them? hmm I know _Aithusa realised turning around. _Now what's that spell hmm, _

"_**XTESA NOKARVA BURNEXUS" **_Aithusa spouted using one of the few spells she knew. Then the sleigh turned black and the reindeer's skin vanished. _Santa may be annoyed that Morgana is using his sleigh, so I'll find him after I've saved Christmas and tell him_ Aithusa smiled and giggled before grabbing the sack and flying back to Camelot. _Oh wait Morgana and a few hundred other women want Agravaine to stop watching them sleep. _Aithusa thought as she looked _at the stars, so Agravaine, ah there he is, so dies after telling the whole world about Merlin's magic, then Arthur makes Merlin court sorcerer and Morgana goes over to the good side, Gwen finds out about the bracelet, Freya returns, and lots more good stuff, so to stop him watching women while they sleep... I'll have him die alone in a cave_. Aithusa recited a spell and destiny was changed.


	18. Chapter 18

Christmas Eve: Aithusa+ Arthur 

**I made Aithusa a girl because it makes sense as they want the dragon race to continue. I don't know if any gender has actually been given. **

**Apple **

_Right so now I need to somehow get these few thousand crowns into Arthur's chambers, so... he needs a new cupboard. _Aithusa then opened a portal to another world. _This looks nice, oh wait fangirls NEXT! _Aithusa walked through another portal; _what the hell is the Simpsons NEXT._

_Too many dragons _

_Too much Merthur_

_Evil Gwen_

_Green Merlin _

_Female Merlin _

_Too much Mergana _

_Too little Merthur _

_To many trees,_

_Too hot_

_Too cold _

_Too girly _

_Too rapey_

_Too manly _

_Too old _

_Too young (giant explosion looms in the background) _

_Too many cupboards _

_Too futuristic _

_Too dark _

_Too romantic _

_Fat Arthur _

_Fat Gwen_

_Here we go _Aithusa realised pausing in a world of crowns, _okay put the door in Arthur's chambers _and done. _Right now to kill all the fangirls_


	19. The End

XMAS EVE: Aithusa+ Agravaine 

_So I've taped a bottle of Ale to Gwaine,s room and built him a tavern_

_Crushed that tavern and built a brothel for Gaius _

_Given Gwen a stun gun _

_So all I need to do now is find a way to punish Agravaine for creeping the place up _Aithusa decided holding up a black dress. She put it on him and then used fire to melt it onto his skin _Right that's everyone _

"Well look who it is! Santa announced appearing behind her

"_Santa, sorry about throwing you off your sleigh and then giving that sleigh to Morgana and then doing all the other things in Camelot"_ Aithusa told him telepathically

"Ho, Ho, Ho Aithusa you actually did a good job, I will need that sleigh back… Ill find a way to get her off it and you my Dragon friend what would you like for Christmas?" Santa asked…

"Mush, Mush" Santa shouted using a whip to make Kilgharrah go faster. Aithusa was sitting in the sleigh looking down at the north pole.

_This place is amazing _Aithusa thought

"You do realise when you let me off this thing I am going to eat you" Kilgharrah shouted but was silenced when he had to avoid a mountain. Aithusa watched the elves making toys, then the sleigh stopped and they all got out.

"Merry Christmas Aithusa and as a special treat this is yours" Santa said handing Aithusa a present. She opened it and looked at Santa

"This is an IPOD, I have no idea what it is but my elves made some, a few centuries early but anyway with this you can do a lot of things, I've installed the complete season 5 of Merlin onto it so you can enjoy some episodes with you in.

"_Thank you Santa" _Aithusa replied "_Oh and you might want to sedate Kilgharrah or he will eat you" _

"Thank you Aithusa" Santa replied as Aithusa was exploring her new IPOD

"_Wait Merlin and Morgana do what in episode 3, and how many dragons are in episode 8, wow what a season finale that will be" _Aithusa thought out loud as Santa teleported her back to her cave home.


	20. sequel

**Just letting you all know that there is a sequel to this story called "Dear writers" it has all the characters telling the writers what they want for season five**

**Apple**


End file.
